| Wednesday, February 07, 2007 |
5:24 pm
I've just received the official piece of paper from my Board of Education which states that I will NOT be recontracting for another year. On August 2nd 2007 my work here will be done. The reason stated, "due to her own will." So why am I so sad!?!
I always knew the day would come when I would have to leave this strange land I've come to call home. In fact I expected it two years ago. And again last year! I never dreamed that I would still be here! In my first year I was certain that I would be returning home, right up until the time came to hand in my paper. But I just couldn't do it. I should've known when I filled it in with pencil instead of pen but I guess I was still in denial. I didn't just suprise myself with my shock decision either. My bestest girl Nori (angel of my life here in Hamada) burst into tears in front of the entire office. Kind of embarrasing actually (sorry babe, but you are a complete nut job at times - I guess that's why we're such good friends!) but it also made me realise that I was making the right decision. One year was just not enough. I had made some amazing friends and was finally beginning to understand a little (a very little) of what was going on around me. A small step for mankind, but a bloody big step for an ALT living in the arse end of nowhere!
In my second year the decision to stay came with the flip of a coin. Well, several games of janken (rock, papaer, scissors) in the pub and two flips of a coin in the office the next day to be precise. Basically the janken told me to GO HOME. I wasn't convince so I flipped the coin and it also told me to GO HOME. "Bugger!", I thought. So I flipped the coin again and it said STAY, and as I felt much less disappointed with this outcome, I decided to go with it. And I haven't regretted it for a second.
This year I thought I would have no decision to make. ALTs could only stay for three years unless they applied for a full time job teaching primary school kids. As fun as that is when you're doing it once a week or less, I feared that every day surrounded by super genki munchkins eating their own bogies with their 'god only knows where they've been' hands, might kill me. I was happy with and prepared for the fact that at the end of my third year, I would be outta here.
Until that was, they decided to change the rules. As of this year, if our contracting organisation agrees to it, we can stay in potentially the same job for up to five years. FIVE YEARS!!! Don't get me wrong, I love this country, I adore my students and I have had a wonderful time here. But FIVE YEARS!!!! A dangerous offer for lost souls such as myself. I could put off making any life decisions for another two years! I could also put off dealing with the copius amounts of crap I've managed to accumulate over the last few years. God damn that 100yen store and those stupid machines that lure you in with their cutsie pictures and funky gadgets!
But I did it! I bit the bullet and made the decision before I even had time to think about it. Progress indeed! Not only did I make a desision in record time, for possibly the first time in my life I actually made a deadline!!! I even handed my papers in EARLY!!!! Yet, when I opened the envelope and saw the piece of paper with my decision not to recontract stamped and signed by the powers that be, I was overwhelmed with a feeling of sadness. This is it! No going back. I have to pack up my three years worth of shit and move on. No easy feat considering that I have more stuff in the boot of my car than I brought to Japan!!! So while I know that leaving Hamada is most definately the right decision, I'm gonna be absolutely gutted when it comes to stepping on that plane. This is the longest I've stayed consistently in any one place since I left school ten years ago!
Every day here is a challenge, more so than I ever could have imagined. But it's been an amazing experience worth every minute. Well except maybe the time I ate uni (raw sea urchine) for the first time, and when I accidently ate natto thinking it was peanut salad, oh and the time when I drove head on into a bus. OUCH! Nah, sod it! It's ALL been an amazing experience. And one I'm gonna be very sad to say Sayonara to.
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